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The Bloody Murder of the Foul Prince Romero and His Enormously Bosomed Wife is a play written by the actors Mossop and Keanrick, which they intended to perform at the Drury Lane Theatre. They claimed that it was a philosophical work, and that both the violence of the murder and vastness of the bosom were artistically justified. The dialogue consisted mostly of two characters discussing their intentions to murder the eponymous prince, as well as all the horrific things they intended to do to him.

Palace Visit[]

During a visit to the palace after being hired to give elocution lessons to Prince George (which both actors considered distasteful and "ghastly"), Mossop and Keanrick attempted to use some free time in order to rehearse their play. Baldrick overheard their rehearsal and assumed that they were forming a real plot to kill Prince George (as well as any servants that overheard their plotting), and rushed to inform the Prince. Baldrick and George (who was noted for his inability to tell fact from fiction) panicked until Blackadder offered to investigate. Blackadder immediately realised what was happening, having discussed the play with Mossop and Keanrick earlier, but when the actors insulted him he informed George that they were traitors. The gullible George then had them arrested and trussed up, ready to be tortured and executed. Even when Mossop and Keanrick pointed out the play manuscript, Blackadder claimed that they had published and printed their entire conspiracy in advance.

Partial Transcript (Act 1, Scene 1)[]

Mossop: Spring has come, with all its gentle showers. Methinks 'tis time to hack the Prince to death.

...

Keanrick: Oooaaah, Let's kill the Prince. Who shall strike first?

Mossop: Let me, and let this dagger's point prick out his soft eyeball and sup with glee upon its exquisite jelly.

Keanrick: Have you the stomach?

Mossop: I have not killed him yet, sir, but when I do, I shall have the stomach and the liver, too, and the floppily-dopplies in their horrid glue.

Keanrick: What if a servant shall hear us in our plotting?

Mossop: Ah ha! Then shall we have servant sausages for tea!

Keanrick: And servant rissoles shall our supper be!

...

Mossop: To torture him, I lust. Let's singe his hair, and up his nostrils, hot bananas thrust.

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